Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #221 (Comic-a-Day 36/365)

The Uncanny X-Men #221, SEP 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Mark Silvestri and Dan Green

My, what you miss when you skip an issue. #219 wasn't in the collection, and now Havok is on the team and Polaris is leading the Marauders. Who knew?

Mr. Sinister is pretty miffed his lackeys the Marauders couldn't get the drop on Madelyne Pryor.
I was pretty miffed that an artist as talented as Silvestri couldn't get us a good head-shot of Mr. Sinister for the opening splash page. Quite unfortunate.

He threatens the Marauders at length for two pages, Sabretooth's windpipe in his hand. Standing stock still for two straight panels with barely an expression makes him look more threatening than his teeth bared on that opening page. Unfortunate, indeed.

The hospital where Madelyne is holed up is surrounded by Marauders, but the X-Men are on the case as well. Rogue flies in unannounced and gives Sabretooth his comeuppance, but is easily thwarted by Scalphunter. In a (dare I say uncanny) use of their powers, Dazzler shoots Scalphunter in the back with her powers while Psylocke monitors her through telepathy. Neat stuff.

Vertigo catches the girls and Longshot by surprise, but Longshot hopes for the best and plummets off the rooftop cradling the ladies in his arms. Some neat play here.

Rogue escapes with Madelyn and they're entangled in a skyscraper by Polaris. Saved by Dazzler, she and Rogue come to terms with their outright hatred of each other, only to be thwarted in the last panel by Polaris spouting some rhetoric about how enemies are now the best of friends.

Wasn't she their friend, but now their enemy?! Ah, comics!

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #220 (Comic-a-Day 35/365)

The Uncanny X-Men #220, AUG 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Mark Silvestri

Great cover of 'ol Forge, reminds me a lot of seeing Wolverine plugged in as Weapon X. At least I think that's what it is, I'm still new to this. We've heard a lot about Forge up until this point, I'm glad we're finally getting around to seeing him.

But the opening scene makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Okay, so it's a little different in the outcome, but Storm portrayed as an eagle was only done a few months earlier in the Uncanny X-Men/New Mutants annual crossovers pitting them against Loki. The Forge-eagle transforming into a machine was a nice touch, but this had been done before.

Whatever Storm and Forge had shared in the past is portrayed quite nicely here. Storm makes her way through Forge's penthouse workshop, hoping to somehow restore her mutant abilities. As Storm is playing back the pain she suffered at his hands, Forge is also playing back scenes from their relationship as holograms. She's also randomly assaulted by his weapons as she infiltrates his pad.

She finds him, but also more than she bargained for...

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #218 (Comic-a-Day 34/365)

The Uncanny X-Men #218, JUN 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Mark Sylvestri and Dan Green

Chris starts us off half a world away with Havok and Polaris being run off the road by a VW bus.
Damn hippies.

Back to the story at hand, it seems as if The Jugs' (Juggernaut's, re: last review) decency knows no bounds. Thinking Dazzler's dead, he buries her in a cairn, so at least she's still able to breathe. Not only that, but slowly and surely she's able to hear a bit of what's happening on the outside. Bug, eagle, a babbling brook--there's enough sound to siphon to get her out of the grave she's in.

After some good saving, Dazzler admits to sucking by taking on so much by herself, but admits to being teammates and friends! Rogue is still a little standoffish, but together they are. They get word Juggernaut is tearing up a city and they join him to take him out.

They're STILL working on their own once they get there, however, and it isn't until Rogue takes out some train tracks by throwing Juggernaut that they realize they'll need to work together to save all the people on this train.

In the end, the authorities are happy to be helped with clean-up by the X-Men, but they're worried the X-Men aren't union.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #217 (Comic-a-Day 33/365)

The Uncanny X-Men #217, MAY 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Jackson Guice

Golly, you can tell the X-Men are scrambling to form a team. Two are off on an undisclosed mission, three are in various states of disembodiment and the rest are at each others throats like little siblings. If it weren't for Juggernaut, we'd have one sorry issue.

Rogue, Dazzler and Psylocke are being trained by Banshee on Muir Isle, but everyone seems to forget that. The girls are slapping each other around and having a hard time working together. Banshee has them sit down for breakfast to let them know where they went wrong and Rogue clears the table with her attitude.

Dazzler gets into a tiff and heads over to town in a boat, dancing the night away. It's a jig, there are kilts and she's letting loose. Not too loose, because when she has her chance to plant one on a guy, she's off following some guy in a convertible.

Turns out it's the Juggernaut (affectionately known as The Jugs) that she's speeding after. Dazzler justifies her actions to show she can handle this without the team, because she never could to her father. This is all an extremely weird series of events because The Jugs isn't being a bad guy at the moment. He's actually gushing over Dazzler and her musical talent. He's enthralled. Who'd have thought she'd have two chances for smoochies tonight?

There's a bunch of fighting here where we get to see a vast array of Dazzler's powers. Her hypnotic light bubbles are pretty cool as is how she describes the way she's able to refresh her mutant power by draining the noise from around her. Too cool.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #216 (Comic-a-Day 32/365)

The Uncanny X-Men #216, APR 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Jackson Guice and Dan Green

This issue wraps up last quite nicely. Wolverine goes a little wonky still, his powers aren't all that they used to be and he gets hit by a truck. He seems to still be following Jean's scent from last issue, but he didn't see that coming. Weird. Maybe it's the deaths they've racked up lately or fighting to the near-death with Lady Deathstrike? Then two innocents are killed under his watch? Wolverine just isn't on top of his game.

Storm and this coke-head are running for their lives of these mutants, and Storm is having second thoughts with having to kill them to survive. The coke-head does not approve, and tries her darndest to take out Storm and Super Sabre, only to be killed later by the remaining two mutants that were after her in the first place.


Not an overly satisfying conclusion. Mostly just Storm and Wolverine running around wondering if they're doing the right thing, and whether or not they trust themselves.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #215 (Comic-a-Day #31)

The Uncanny X-Men #215, MAR 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Alan Davis

There we go again, judging a book by its cover. These three goobers look like they're asking for trouble to take on Storm (even without her powers) and the cover artist doesn't help much, either. That being said, the rest of the issue happening before we get to this scene perhaps made things a little more palpable.

We open with some nice paneling of a landing plane, quickly escalating matters into a crashing plane. Madelyn Pryor is the only one to make it out alive, the pursued and shot by the Marauders, then making it out alive again. Ridiculous, sometimes, how hardy these characters are. Not so much is Madelyn's inner monologue: some real poignant stuff here.

Cut to the X-mansion where Storm isn't trusting anyone and she splits up the group to keep the wounded safer than they would be at the mansion. She and Wolverine (though she doesn't trust him, either) head on a job to upstate New York. There they find Jean Grey's older sister's house in smoldering flames, but they also fine...Jean Grey?!

Wolvie flips out and socks Storm. She wakes up chained in a dungeon, like something out of a horror movie. Her captors are "crime fighters" who do their duty by chasing their victims across wooded areas for punishment. Not much like their cover-counterparts, these guys are surprisingly likable. Ex-WWII mutant vets, we no longer needed them after the war,so this is how they deal with it.

I know I've complained about the obsessive use of the word "caper" here and in The New Mutants, but I can't make heads or tails of Claremont. The Marauders continually use the word "skirts" to refer to women, but Super Sabre at least gets original using words like "dollface," "sweets," and "honey."

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #214 (Comic-a-Day #30)

The Uncanny X-Men #214, FEB 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Barry Windsor-Smith

Dazzler is tired of hiding, and she's going to cut loose, even if that means letting others onto her status as a mutant. It's a neat feeling seeing Windsor-Smith's depiction of Dazzler's light shows with Claremont's description of being a musician. I've been on both sides of the stage, and it's magic every time. Much like Claremont telling it like it is.

The issue basically revolves around the entity of Malice who has hijacked Dazzler and then runs through the rest of the X-Men before she takes off to some other hapless soul.

Not a bad offering, but not great. Art really moved this one along.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #213 (Comic-a-Day #29)

The Uncanny X-Men #213, JAN 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Alan Davis

Even with the cover touting Sabretooth and Wolverine throwing down, this is Psylocke's issue. Davis makes some interesting choices here, and they stand out enough for the reader to focus on almost wholeheartedly. After that first splash page of Psylocke's visage amid sparks and splotches, we're treated to a cross between moths and Mardi Gras masks. Weird, but works.

We're treated to another brief recap of the state of affairs at the X-mansion: Morlocks filling up the infirmary, but Nightcrawler, Colossus and Kitty Pryde as well--injured and near-powerless. Psylocke fills us in on these details: Nightcrawler so deep in a coma she can't get a read, Colossus alert yet paralyzed and Kitty discorporeal and fading.

She's not yet trusted and warming the bench when trying to ascertain the whereabouts of the New Mutants, she's blasted by an uncanny psionic blast...from a hidden enemy! Sabretooth is back, and his man-pants attitude is misogynistic to a fault. He is a bad guy, to be sure.

Wolverine goes all Stabby Staberson on Sabretooth, and Psylocke gets an idea.

Epic Beards of Review: The New Mutants #46 (Comic-a-Day #28)

The New Mutants #46 DEC 85 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Jackson Guice

I enjoyed what they did with the Mutant Massacre map, but they're should've been less arrows and more direct connections. This doesn't feel like a crossover, but more like a mega-event, throwing issues in just to shill books. It's barely worth writing about.

• The Morlocks have been brought back to the X-Mansion, and they're having a tough time dealing with an amazing loss of life.
• Magik transports herself to Muir Isle to get Dr. McTaggert out of the shower. Magik chooses an awful-looking outfit for Doc Nekkid.
• Sunspot and Rhane are dealing with the stress of death, and we learn how much of an ass Sunspot can be.
• Magik zips she and Karma to her apartment, looking for Karma's family. There's a bomb tripped when they turn on the lights.
• The rest of the New Mutants head to the Morlock tunnels where they're confronted by Warlock's father, Magus!

Really disappointed with this issue (the art doesn't help, either) because it feels extremely out of place with the rest of the event. It's disjointed and feels like an X-men knockoff team, but without the fun. There's no memorable scenes (save one where Mirage sees death hanging over the mansion) or neat play with paneling.

Snooze.

Epic Beards of Review: X-Factor #10 (Comic-a-Day # 27)

X-Factor #10, NOV 86 (w) Louise Simonson (a) Walter Simonson

A two-page spread is really showing off the skills of the Marauders sticking it to the Morlocks. This is to set readers up really, but is more concise (and pretty) in a couple of pages than in the last few issues. Angel and Jean Grey hightail it out with Rusty, all the while mutants confused about who X-Factor is and what they're all about. But they're dressed as bad guys! But they're funded by Warren Worthington III!

Cyclops, Iceman and Beast try to even the odds on the side of the Morlocks, but the Marauders have been at this assassination thing too long, and they're much more willing to kill. Artie, Leech and Caliban are being hunted by Sabretooth and X-Factor saves the day on that account.

Angel and Jean Grey make their way back to the sewers to help out their teammates (but only after they've had a moment) but angel gets hit up by the Marauders and pinned to the wall by Harpoon's...harpoons. If I'd not seen Apocalypse arrive and take Plague with him as his First Horseman, I may not have picked up on this eerie foreshadowing...

Epic Beards of Review: X-Factor #9 (Comic-a-Day #26)

X-Factor #9, OCT 86 (w) Louise Simonson (a) Terry Shoemaker

Okay, so the Mutant Massacre issue flowchart doesn't help all that much, or I was too into Uncanny to give it much of a thought, but it's not HORRIBLE skipping around. This issue bleeds well into the last two reviews of Uncanny 211 and 212. Feels like more of a flashback or even an "and over in X-Factor!" Kudos for not charging $3.50 for a mega issue.

Freedom Force is after some guy named Rusty and with a name like that it's no wonder he can control fire. Turns out this mutant hunting government agency is actually on the up-and-up, albeit a little rough around the edges. Normal people are stepping in because Rusty and his lady friend look like them, and they're not having it. Then along comes X-Factor and they step in because the normals are going to start rioting.

This seems to be the first meeting between young mutants Artie Maddicks and Leech. It's nice to see some kids meet amidst all this carnage and "seriousness." Friendship is pretty important these days.

The X-Factor arrives in the Morlock tunnels to help their friend Rusty, in their original X-Men costumes. There's a silly juxtaposition here where X-Factor are good guys posing as bad guys and Freedom Force being bad guys posing as good guys. What a conundrum.

And hey, while we're on it (and I know I'm not reading ALL the titles coming out of Marvel at this point, but...when did Jean Grey come back?

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #212 (Comic-a-Day #25)

The Uncanny X-Men #212, DEC 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Rick Leonardi

The Marauders have maraudered the Morlocks and Wolverine is on the prowl.

Slumming through the carnage and tunnels a mile beneath New York City, he's got an itch to scratch. With such a deep-seated hatred for these mutant killers, he's going to need his adamantium claws to get at it. Storm's ordered him to bring back one of these for questioning, and gives our guy the go-ahead take care of all else any which way he chooses.

The telepath Psylocke is in contact with Wolverine, and it's unfortunate that no one fully trusts her as an X-Man yet, because her powers make for some really swank paneling. She shows up trippy and ghost-like, and startles the dickens our of our hero. That said guest artist Leonardi is a good fit for the issue--things look good, and not missing a beat from JRJr's work. Taking lots of cool chances with paneling here.

The few surviving Morlocks are healing up at Xavier's School, but it's not looking good. They're not faring well. The Marauders have been thorough and unrelenting. Colossus isn't doing well, either, but you can't tell through the armor. Someone should have known something was up: he still hasn't changed out of his armored form.

Upside? We've not seen much from him since he's joined the ranks of the X-Men, but Magneto pulls out all the stops to heal his student with magnetism. Cool stuff.

Downside? In addition to Kitty Pryde unable to unphase, now it looks as if Colossus is paralyzed. Cool stuff.

Storm is having a tough time dealing with the loss of life and her position as leader of the X-Men and the Morlocks. Calisto (last leader of the Morlocks) is having a tough time with Storm being a sissy. Nice watching them duke it out. \

Then there's the knuckle-down drag-out fight between Wolverine and Sabretooth. 'Nuff said.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #211 (Comic-a-Day #24)

The Uncanny X-Men #211, NOV 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) John Romita, Jr and Bret Blevins

I am a jaded man. While going through my comics bounty, I noticed a few of the X-titles with the same cover border. I didn't think much of it, only because I'm used to the day and age of variant covers. Turns out these all belong to the same crossover event.

Oh, another crossover? Jaded, to be sure.

The Marauders have made their way through the Morlock tunnels. They're chewing bubble gum and kicking butt, and they're all out of chewing gum. Mutants killing their own, there's a half-dozen of these mooks hunting their prey pretty handily. A burrowing behemoth manages to make his way to Xavier's school, just before passing out. X-Men to the rescue.

Wolverine and Nightcrawler are still not at the top of their game, and it shows, getting it handed to them. There are some pretty neat scenes here including a bit of a gritty one where Kitty Pryde phases just before being blasted by a shotgun. In a strange twist of fate, Kitty phases into Rogue after her powers with disastrous results.

Jaded I may be, but I'm looking forward to where this Mutant Massacre is headed.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #210 (Comic-a-Day #23)

The Uncanny X-Men #210, OCT 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) John Romita, Jr. and Dan Green
 
"The Morning After" is really just that: another of those issues resetting the status quo by tying up loose ends and giving us little nudges as to the future of the book. Not a whole lot happens in this issue, but there're a few neat scenes that deserve a look.

There are two mutants being pursued by a group calling themselves The Marauders. They've executed some guy named Richard (who has ties to the Hellfire Club) before we find out what his powers are. He's got a gun though, and it's mentioned three times in as many pages, so it may be that or that I'm just getting into this a little too late. They're also connected to the Morlocks, and this female mutant has the need ability to make herself flat. Too bad for her, she'll be "flatlined" before the issue's over. Ba-dump.

There's a bit of Dazzler here, and someone in the mirror making threats. The X-Factor is in their infancy, but they keep turning up. Magneto's asked to join the Hellfire Club.

Folks are giving Rogue a hard time in Bloomingdale's, for being a mutant, not for putting on too much rogue. There's a witch hunt out for Nightcrawler as well., but his friends have found him and the crisis is averted. All thanks to the mutants sticking up for themselves.

Things are okay here, just not as stunning as the last few issues. The highlights however, are twofold, first page and last interestingly enough: first page splash of the guy Richard being shot with an energy spear is the first time I can see something recognizable out of JRJr. Last page last panel shows the hunted female mutant getting the screws to her. Beautiful how BOOM is spelled out coming down the subway tunnel. Boom, indeed.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #209 (Comic-a-Day #22)

The Uncanny X-Men #209, SEP 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) John Romita Jr. and P. Craig Russell

Now THIS is what I'm talking about: Action, action, action.

Nimrod is on the offensive and everyone is in his way. The Hellfire Club are caught off guard, torn between trashing the X-Men and saving their own skin. At least Storm and the rest of her crew know what they're getting into. Can't we all just get along?

Another great paneling intro with Rogue, still retaining Colossus's metal skin. CH-BAM is the only onomatopoeia worth it's salt. Sebastian Shaw is still making to thump his enemies, and Rogue's not putting up with it. Salty, indeed.

There's some great teamwork at play here, from both sides of the mutant line. There's little to no "psi-attacks" going on during this little fracas, and that it elevates the plausibility of the fight much healthier than normal.

Best part of the book, though, was Rachel's journey into (?) the Body Shoppe as Spiral danced her way to getting Rachel to side with her. Is that part of what she does?

Anyhow, the colors and trippy atmosphere are something you could get lost in. I'm unsure if Lady Deathstrike went through something like this back in issue #205, but boy-howdy is this some stunning storytelling.

Throwback Thursday: Junk in the Trunk #1

I'm supposed to be on my way to Renovo Elementary right about now to teach a class on narrative fiction.
My son Harrison is in the middle of a double infection, hives, diaper rash and teething, so we're going to forgo it today and double that up next week on both Thursday and Friday.

Upon doing some research as to how I was going to present this I at odds with my own narrative story: non-fiction, of course, but with bits and pieces (even whole chunks) of information that may or not even become relevant in the grand scheme of things.

Not sure how old this contraption is. It's like a suitcase, but there are pockets for things, not for dirty socks or personals, but papers. It's very heavy as well.

I do know, however, it was bequeathed to me from my uncle Kevin Dremel, he of my new comic-a-day blog benefactor and Cartoon fame. That said, there's had been a bunch of old songwriting stuff in it which includes handwritten songs (most of which are original) copyright info and all sorts of neat posters and other business hullabaloo.

I've commandeered  this briefcase years ago to throw my own stuff in. It's a neat little box and originally thought of as an item for a character that has yet to be introduced.

Stay tuned next Wednesday for some idea of what's packed in here...

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #208 (Comic-a-Day #21)

The Uncanny X-Men #208, AUG 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) John Romita, Jr and Dan Green

The rest of the X-Men are visibly upset that Wolverine has taken it upon himself to take their teammate Rachel down. He makes a good case, they all do, but it all comes down to being heroes.

Selene isn't a very nice person, either. We see her come to the rescue of a mugging victim in disposing of her attacker, then she turns on the victim. There's some banter back at the Hellfire Club, and they're going to hunt down Phoenix for themselves. She's already wounded, it couldn't hurt, right?

We're re-introduced to Nimrod, an extremely high level Sentinel, in a few panels showing some really neat computer-type elements of Nimrod's mechanics. And as we learn more about Nimrod, specifically his burgeoning sentience.

In the next scene, we see Rachel coming to. There're a few great panels here as well, spotlighting her psionic abilities and how they manifest themselves.

Rachel hones in on Wolverine and puts a hurting on him. Nothing beats being thrown in front of a train by a telekinetic. Some other very neat power uses here, namely Rogue accidentally touching Colossus as he's partially underground.

Mmmm, and that closing scene with Nimrod laying the smack down. Gorgeous.

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #207 (Comic-a-Day #20)

The Uncanny X-Men #207 JUL 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) John Romita, Jr and Dan Green

Now this is a great little issue. JRJr's art is getting better as well, which makes things much more palatable.

Just when I thought I couldn't get Rachel's mewling little voice outta my head, we get a glimpse at exactly where in the future it is she's coming from, and it's dark. Just the way we like it.

Rachel's been having these bad dreams, mostly due to stealing her teammates' powers during their fight with The Beyonder. Of course, she's still trying to come to terms with her future self being a mutant hunter. Bitch.

Anyhow, she's been having nightmares starring our no-nonsense buddy Wolverine. He's chasing her around, and it's just what she deserves. The guilt is killing her, and it might as well take the form of the best there is at what he does.

There's some more backstory as when Rachel first came to our timeline where she had a run-in with the vampire mutant Selene. She's now the Black Queen of The Hellfire Club and Rachel feels that by evening the score she'll at least make up for some of her sins.

Rachel's finally confronted by Wolverine in the digs of the new Black Queen.

Does she really want to commit what adds up to murder?
 

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #206 (Comic-a-Day #19)

The Uncanny X-Men #206, JUN 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) John Romita, Jr and Dan Green

This issue opens with Storm rescuing a couple from a mugging---without her powers. She's still a formidable opponent, and makes easy work of these hooligans. Storm is herself then confronted by San Fran's finest, and makes a new friend in Lieutenant Bree Morrel, perhaps a friend when she needs it most.

Obviously still reeling from events with The Beyonder, the X-Men are hiding out at the residence/offices of one Jessica Drew (previously Spider-Woman) and her investigator partner. The neighborhood is supposedly haunted, so that's how the mutant menace can slouch around without being noticed much.

There's some weird scene here with the new Phoenix is balancing dirty dishes on her way to the kitchen when Rogue excitedly mentions they received a postcard from Cyclops, Madelyn Pryor and baby. Rachel drops the dishes and she freaks out quite a bit.

Kitty Pryde heads out on a date, only to find the craziness of Freedom Force back in full...force intent on apprehending the X-Men again. they've recruited a new Spider-Woman to join the ranks and fight surprisingly well as a team. Some bold moves by the X-Men turn disastrous, and it looks as though Freedom Force is going to win...

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #205 (Comic-a-Day #18)

The Uncanny X-Men #205, MAY 86 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Barry Windsor-Smith

If Claremont is going to take the entire team for a spin with individual issues, they can have my money. Of course, you've got to have the right story and art. Who'm I kidding. Not too picky, am I?

Let not the cover deceive you, we're not going to see Wolverine go through any more testing. We are, however, introduced to the origin of Lady Deathstrike. She and her cyborg friends are out for blood, Wolverine's to be specific. Some very nice humanity on display in just the first few pages, makes me hopeful for the rest of the issue.

I was not disappointed.

Lady Deathstrike and her lackeys have been giving him the business for quite awhile it seems, but we'll get to that before long. Wolverine is being stalked through snowy streets of Manhattan. For some weird reason, Katie Power from Power Pack makes a cameo appearance, playing good cop to Wolverine's bad. He's bloody and broken, and healing on the run. Before long we find out that she's turned him into an animal again, and he's angry.

Such a powerful issue that strikes such a chord watching Wolverine dish out a clawed defense. Even in all his animalistic nature, he still manages to be one of the good guys.