Thirty//Thirty 2014 2/30: Feeding Time

You are dealing quite well with mommy and daddy overestimating our stay this evening.

And now, the frantic wails of infancy are in their prime.
You're growing up so fast.

Yes, it's late.
Yes, you're hungry.
Yes, we'll be home soon.

Yet these words do not soothe
and the developmental stage
upon which you deliver
your tear-stained monologue
startles the unrehearsed understudies who've yet to memorize their lines.

Missing cues and freeway exits
as safety is disregarded
blocking with the binkie before the blinking
ghostlight waiting in the wings
reminds me to fasten my seatbelt.

Thirty//Thirty 2014 1/30: Wings

I meander through the aisles, absent from the task at hand
and the list you've meticulously scrawled for me on the back of an envelope.
I neglect the SPAM and the Hamburger Helper if only because you're not here to harass.

And I see HIM standing there.
Looooong black jacket, pants, shirt and shoes.
Looooong black hair and top hat with a silver skull upon it.
Goth would be too trite, wondering if your reflection can withstand mine and call it as I see it:
Vampire works for me, and I'm haunted because I mean no malice, but it lingers regardless.

Until I see the bite mark tattoo.
Absolved of my sin, knowing I am safe,
slipping by as you mesmerize customers in search of one thing or another.
Flickering fluorescent castle catacombs of the supermarket maze.

I met you today, outside your element, the fantasy of your profession.
You need the coffee to stay awake during the day.
An egg sandwich because you're saving your pennies.
We joke of the quality of the Weis store bagels, because we buy them two departments down.
It doesn't surprise me one bit you moonlight in the meat department,
training to be certified to wield those blades.

So he's human, just like the rest of us.

Epic Beards of Review: The Garden of Darkness

Gillian Murray Kendall’s The Garden of Darkness blooms with subtlety. This post-apocalyptic young adult novel is like a little plot of land: you till in early Spring, plant your seeds and sit back to watch it grow.  In an age where these end of the world novels are shooting up like weeds, Garden blossoms and crowds out the others, soaking up the glory of the sun for itself. Sure you’ve got to water and weed it, but in the end, you’ve quite the bumper crop.

As an overburdened field suffers from loss of nutrients, we get your obligatory plague decimation—but there’s a twist: the Cure. Of course, if you happen to weather the plague and get said Cure, you’ve become a stark-raving lunatic, much creepier than being a zombie. If you’re a kid and haven’t yet succumbed to the plague, you now have to overcome the Cured and the day-to-day survival of a fallen world.

There’s a certain honesty here in the way different children handle their new-found lifestyles. It’s not just about missing their folks, it’s about how they deal. Our heroes are at times child-like, but not childish. The fact that survivors mentioned child services more than once was interesting, as were the way suicide and death in general. Much love to a character’s lethargy in response to basic hygiene. Too neat.

And although the main character wore her crush’s letterman jacket for the entirety of the novel, it acted as a tether to the former world, but not in a gooey, overly sentimental way. There is the slightest hint of love story taking place here, too, but it is deftly handled as mild flirtation.  Without the pressures of societal norms and high school drama, it allows itself to develop naturally.

Character development is spot-on as more and more hangers-on are introduced into bands. They balance well, unlike typical adventure novels where particular characters have special skill sets. Here, they just are: kids will be kids. Even the behemoth of a dog, Bear, our main character befriends early in the story, isn’t used as an easy way out of harmful situations.

Two of the more stellar plot points to note:

Not giving anything away, but there’s a grown man who deems himself “master-of-the-situation” whom is gathering children to his aid. As the book progresses, his intentions become clearer and it is compelling to see his chapters interspersed amid the novel as a parallel to our roving band of children and teens.

There’s also an aside about halfway through highlighting characters which we’ll never get a chance to interact with. As a brief interlude it was captivating to read of their ill-fated exploits in comparison to our main characters.

The ending sneaks up on you, and it’s worrisome that loose ends won’t be tied up. It was, however, clear, concise and a quite sharp way of ending things. It is beautifully wrought, and won’t be tied up in another series where you get a book and movie deal.

And so we return to the garden aspect of this book. Its shooting tendrils sprout up time and again about the pages literally and figuratively looking for a way to grow amid the darkness. There is some good fruit here, and it should be eaten of heartily.

The Garden of Darkness by Gillian Murray Kendall is due out 6/25/2014 from Ravenstone. 

Shootout at the O.K. Corral

Buy the e-book here, varmint!

Shootout at the O.K. Corral

Tumble weeds whisper

across the barren landscapes of my heart.

The ghost town stands empty,

save that last lone leper

holding on with dear life

pulling up that poisonous patch of devil grass.

Wind whipping through

the bat wings of the saloon

looking for one last shot.

Speak those words to me

amid all the excuses

back peddling

and dried up wells.

Water and oil parting ways

still panning for fool’s gold

a King’s ransom

bought and paid for

by his blood,

slipping through your fingers

like a sieve.

Bid me pick up my mat and walk.

Walk the walk and talk the talk

shake off the dust of this world

in places that are too close for comfort.

I know not how it got there.

Get out of Dodge

while you still can.

Vultures,

circling overhead

this town’s for the birds.

Keep on keeping on

the path.

one step at a time,

one day at a time.

Because over that hill

is your oasis,

maybe more desert

or just a mirage.

But at least you’re making good time.

Poem Trio

This gem (and many more!) can be found at Amazon for your e-reader!

Back in the Saddle: My Love/Hate Relationship with the Space Cowboy

Listen to some more poems (and music!) HERE!

Poem Trio

Last Time We Talked

He may be lucky
to have you,
but somewhere out there
there's somebody
just as lucky
to be rid of you.

Re-gifting

No time
like the present
to present yourself
to the world

Tied up tight
in ribbons and bows

All wrapped up,
a perfect little package
you give yourself
to the next guy to come along.

A Fond Remembrance

I seem to remember a time
when there was a reason
we broke up,
but I

don't quite

remember what...

Oh...wait.
There it is.

Epic Beards of Review: Merrick: The Sensational Elephantman

The only knowledge I’ve got of Joseph Merrick, the Elephantman, is from the brief, silly mention of him in the Barenaked Ladies song “If I Had $1,000,000.” It’s been rumored that Michael Jackson owned them at one point, but you know how celebrity gossip can be.

If I had a cool million, however, I’d invest heartily in “Merrick: The Sensational Elephantman” by Tom Ward, artist Luke Parker and letterer Nic J. Shaw. Merrick follows the somewhat true story of Joseph Merrick blended with gaslamp fiction in this 1880s Victorian comic tale of carnival freaks and the occult.

Beautiful blacks and blues portray this first issue as a stepping stone into the life of Merrick, and the slippery slope he’s about to take into the London underworld. Paneling is inventive, and really creates a sense of urgency.

There’s a lot of talk here, but it’s dragging us deeper into Merrick’s story, along with some abominable characters. Everyone seems to be friends, which is nice, but there’s certainly a dark undertone to their kinship that’s raising the hackles on the back of my neck. Not to mention the haunting surprise guests creeping in at the end.

Even if this wasn’t a beautiful work of art, the fact that you can get it for free makes it a no-brainer.
What’s that? This Kickstarter project is giving away a download of the first issue FOR FREE?!

Yes, true believers!
Be sucked into the sensational story!
Feast your eyes upon the unbelievable art!
Languish in the lovely lettering of this work!

Of course, with any crowdfunding project, they’re looking for you to help contribute as well, and they’ve made the booty tantalizingly attractive. They’ve got your normal rewards such as PDF and print copies available to pledge for, but there are also nifty incentives and add-ons like a special illustration book called Skull Culture by Parker, a chance to be edited by their editor Clare and a reproduction of the original autobiography of Merrick himself!

Head on over to their Kickstarter page and watch as Liverpudllian Tom Ward sits by the fire with a glass of some exquisite alcohol to tell you all about Merrick and what he’s put into it. If you’ve got yourself a coupla bills to throw around, stop by and pledge to this horror/adventure tale.

This column originally appeared at Striptease--The Magazine.

Tub Time

shake shake shiver shiver
shiver shiver shake
fill up, fill up the tub
it's a bath we'll take

set set sail upon the seven seas
and see what we will see
a peg-leg pirate and a parrot
are friends for you and me

shake shake shiver shiver
shiver shiver shake
fill up, fill up the tub
it's a bath we'll take

we've got colored crayons
writing on the wall
tonite tub time beats storytime
till the waters wash them off

splish splash splish
drip drop drip
onomatopoeia
hey, baby, words are hip

grab your rubber duckies
the creature from the black lagoon
before bubbles suck them down the drain
we'll see them again soon

shake shake shiver shiver
shiver shiver shake
fill up, fill up the tub
it's a bath we'll take