Saturday, January 31, 2015

Epic Beards of Review: The Uncanny X-Men #215 (Comic-a-Day #31)

The Uncanny X-Men #215, MAR 87 (w) Chris Claremont (a) Alan Davis

There we go again, judging a book by its cover. These three goobers look like they're asking for trouble to take on Storm (even without her powers) and the cover artist doesn't help much, either. That being said, the rest of the issue happening before we get to this scene perhaps made things a little more palpable.

We open with some nice paneling of a landing plane, quickly escalating matters into a crashing plane. Madelyn Pryor is the only one to make it out alive, the pursued and shot by the Marauders, then making it out alive again. Ridiculous, sometimes, how hardy these characters are. Not so much is Madelyn's inner monologue: some real poignant stuff here.

Cut to the X-mansion where Storm isn't trusting anyone and she splits up the group to keep the wounded safer than they would be at the mansion. She and Wolverine (though she doesn't trust him, either) head on a job to upstate New York. There they find Jean Grey's older sister's house in smoldering flames, but they also fine...Jean Grey?!

Wolvie flips out and socks Storm. She wakes up chained in a dungeon, like something out of a horror movie. Her captors are "crime fighters" who do their duty by chasing their victims across wooded areas for punishment. Not much like their cover-counterparts, these guys are surprisingly likable. Ex-WWII mutant vets, we no longer needed them after the war,so this is how they deal with it.

I know I've complained about the obsessive use of the word "caper" here and in The New Mutants, but I can't make heads or tails of Claremont. The Marauders continually use the word "skirts" to refer to women, but Super Sabre at least gets original using words like "dollface," "sweets," and "honey."

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